To see , or not to see ; is that some kind of question ?
If your vision is messed up , please choose glasses .
Wearing contacts is like a dysfunctional relationship , you become co-dependent . You depend on them to see ,
and they depend on your meticulous upkeep .
In short , they demand way too much maintainence .
Contacts do not allow you to be the Slob that you are ,
which is your God-given birth-right as a Man .
It's acceptable if you are vain enough to want to
change the color of your eyes , but if your eyes
are the darkest of brown , contacts of a lighter
color only looks like you are in need of eye surgery .
So stick with glasses , ok ?

Even if your sight is perfect , try fake glasses .
There is no crime in doing so , I do it , others too .
The old adage of glasses making one look smarter
is still valid , as stupid as that may sound .
They also provide a barrier between you and the World ,
and help to hide your infamous eye-bags , Brother .

Sunglasses can be the Gateway to Coolness .
Something as simple as Shades can make or break
your entire appearance for all the World to see .
But too many of you royally fuck up that concept .
You can dress in plain ol' rags , but bad-ass
yet el cheapo Shades will mack you out .
Reversly , too many Bubs wear killer threads , only to
fuck up their whole look by wearing dorky Shades
More sadly , even young Guys commit these crimes .

Sunglass styles go in and out of fashion so rapidly ,
so you should never pay big bucks for them .
What does a $300 pair of Oaklys do for your looks ?
Fucking absolutely nothing , they look 15 years old .
Sure , expensive Shades are come with life-time
guarantees and are made with 'space-age technology' ,
but you know you'll just lose 'em , or some asshole
will steal 'em , or you'll just sit on the fuckers .
O yeah , you should select Shades with 95% UV
protection , but this site is about lookin' good ,
not how to live to be 120 years old , right Dog ?

By the way , unless a seeing-eye dog is with you ,
NEVER wear very dark shades indoors or at night .
You will never look cool wearing 'em in these scenarios ,
you'll only look like you're trying to look cool .
On a similar note , stay away from mirrored sunglasses .
They tell the world that you are a big wuss ,
trying to hide something , or a Gay leather Queen
tryin' not to get caught lookin' at Guys' crotches .
Wrap-around Shades are only for skiing and surfing ,
but not with your fat gut , unless you're a Biker .

Aww Hell , before I exhaust myself preaching to you
of what Shades to wear or not , just click below
for some examples , hideous and otherwise , a'ight ?