Call me shallow ,
but I see it as my duty as a civilian to
keep America beautiful
and it feeds my my humble soul to transform
all sleeping wallflowers into the budding beauties
they so rightfully deserve !
All my children should look and feel their best !
But I ain't Ghandi , and this is America ,
so it's gonna cost ya !
Not to worry ,
the down-trodden po' folk are our speciality !
We'll attempt to make you look your best ,
even if you have the budget of Gary Coleman !
Your biggest price involved will be
your time , patience , and blind faith !
So if you're in dire need of an overhaul ,
great self-esteem , and in general ,
a brand new you ,
(the rest of the world seems to think so)
give us a holler , drop us a line ,
and we'll see what magic we can work for you ,
without resorting to decapitation !
If you can't afford jack ,
and if your story touches my heart ,
I might even do this one on the house !
(It also depends if I've had my coffee yet)
Let the wise prattle of this site be your guide .
Otherwise , contact us
here

please make sure you type in "male" or "female"
in the "subject matter" line .

And remember ,
if you see someone that you think looks good ,
tell 'em !