The first thing you see of a person is their face .
Unless you're a Muslim female ,
you have no way to hide it .
You poor Guy .

Men are fortunate because we don't feel the
need to have to take care of our skin .
Women spend ungodly amounts of money ,
their money and your money
on crap to 'treat' their faces .
Most that stuff is a big rip-off anyway .
For the Guys who do feel the need to put crap
on their faces , It probably is a good idea ,
but remember , as with other products ,
'expensive' does not mean 'quality' , ok ?

If you are in the minority of men who care
about the state of your 'complexion' ,
the best thing for your skin is WATER .
That's right ! Drink plenty of it ,
and splash it on your face as often as you can .
Of course you need some fresh air , too .
So go to the damn beach , Fucker !

Sun and salt will burn much sin off your face .
The American Cancer Society will kick my ass ,
but seriously , UV rays will do wonders !
It's been proven that your chance of skin cancer
is determined not only genetically , but
mostly if you have had sunburns before the age of 25 !
Besides , this site is about Lookin' Good ,
not about living to be 120 years old , right ?
Except those who are blessed with skin of Gods ,
we all know that everybody looks better
with a little color on their ugly mugs .
A good day at your nearest beach
will dry up every pimple or blackhead
and any other grease pit in your hide .
Did you know that the cleanest grem-free
surfaces in the whole wide world
are the ones bombarded by the sun's intensity ?
Did you know your body needs sunshine
to manufacture vitamin D for your sickly ass ?
(Sun can improve your pissy moods , too .)
Did you know that the more sunlight ya get ,
the more testosterone is produced , Tiger ?
Like you ain't horny enough , Bitch .
So get out there and see and be seen !
Put some sun on your bun , Whitey .
Don't look like a wedge of swiss cheese !
Hey , we're supposed to be leather-faced !
We're Men !

Click here to read some crap of what I humbly
think about that all-sacred Man-stuff .

Damn , I'm old .
I can actually can remember a time when
if a guy would choose to wear earrings ,
he surely would get his pussy ass kicked .
Today a man can wear earrings and look like
a total fucking bad-ass .
BUT... Piercee beware !
If you really do desire that rebelish look ,
DO NOT EVER wear those tiny
little sparkly precious girly studs !
Especially in just one ear ; it's a no-no .
Personally , it reminds me of My Little Pony™ .

To achieve the true Macho look you need
to look bold and brave , and that means
a pair big chunky hoops , dammit fool !
Almost every face is a little off-kilter ,
any kind of asymmetric ormamentation
will bring out your worst facial retardations .
Silver is the choice , especially for us anglos ;
only men of color can look good in color .
But remember , white folk ,
shiny silver reflects a buncha white light ,
and are you sure you want that hanging around
so close to your contrasting brown teeth ?

In my humble opinion , I believe that
only our bigger brothers should sport
ear jewelry on their big fat heads .
Us smaller-headed guys that try to sport earwear
look like friggin' windchimes .
Not wearing earrings is just fine ;
piercings are so yawny mainstream now ,
a clean head looks kinda fresh indeed .
And it appears that puttin' holes in your gourd
is just about to fall out of favor .
Which in turn is cool , cuz some of my buds
are slowly developing hideous keloids
from previous modification of the flesh !
And most of those guys and gals are white !