All Guys enjoy a cool shirt .

I don't want to cover T-shirts here .
Ok , yeah , I admit it , T-shirts are
inexpensive , practical and casual ,
but T-shirts are for Boys , Silly Rabbit !
If you do insist on wearing these kiddy tops ,
please know that loose ones are never tucked in .
Tight-fitting ones may be tucked in your pants ,
but may only be worn if you have 2% body fat .
If you must wear a T-shirt , keep it Black ,
without any kind of writing , designs , nor logos .

Your shirt conveying to the World that you
ran 5 miles for Muscular Dystrophy in 1992
has nothing to do with charity nor class .
When your shirt says Nike™ , it doesn't show
that you are an Athlete , just that you are
stupid enough to pay a Big Company to slap
an advertisment on your pitiful self .
They are supposed to pay YOU for that .

I have to give 'Polo Shirts' a resounding : NO !
These ubiquitous tops have an identity problem .
They don't know whether they are supposed to be
T-Shirts or button-up shirts or costume tops
for low-budget science-fiction produtions .
Polo shirts are offered in the most hideous colors ,
and in fabrics that are disageeable to human skin .
Worst of all , they are topped with the most tiniest
collars , suitable only for dolls and dwarfs , which
with age tend to morph and curl beyond control .
To us style-mongers , wearing a Polo shirt says :
" The highlight in my life occured in the 80s ,
and I refuse to evolve since then , and I wish
to be a representitive relic of those times . "
Please leave these shirts to old decrepid Golfers .

A button-up shirt , no matter how casual ,
can dress up the most raggedy Jeans .
Speaking of which , NEVER tuck a shirt
into a pair of Jeans , NEVER , OK ?
I ain't got time to explain , just trust me .

One important rule of thumb for all your wear
is that you MUST be comfortable !
If you feel comfortable , you'll look comfortable ,
and that's the first major step to Lookin' Good .
It's no coincidence that most shirts nowadays
have a straight bottom hem , so you don't have to
tuck it in your pants and look constricted .
While we're at it , please make sure the shirt
you are wearing is really your size , comprende ?
No , you can't still fit in your school clothes .
For comfort and style , try Guayaberas .
What are those ?
Here's a webpage of mine to show you , Papi .

When in doubt , or not , the best color to wear is :

Everybody looks good in Black , even your Momma !
If you have stained teeth , NEVER wear white shirts .
Also stay away from beige , tan or yellow shirts .
What I'm trying to tell you is that your shirt
should never match the color of your chompers .
Can I be more specific without embarrasing you ?

I know this sounds corny , but a good choice of color
would be one that matches your eyes , it's true .
Everytime I wear a such a shirt , I get compliments
about my eyes , not my shirt . I like that .
Hopefully by your age , you know what colors look
best on you , someone must have informed you .
We're all different ; I , for example , cannot
wear anything with little brown dots or patterns ,
because it would match my Caucasian melanoma
sprinkled about my face , it magnifies them .
Nuff said .

For comfort , Cotton is the fabric supreme ,
it just feels so good againt your haggard skin .
Unfortunalty , Cotton is also a pain in the ass .
It invaribly shrinks , fades and frays , and
it seems you need a personal lauderer to give 'em
the proper treatment for their upkeep . That sucks .
Luckily , today's technology has brought us a
plethora of synthetic fabrics with amazing qualities .
There are blends that will take any Man's abuse .
You can wash 'em however and as often as you like ,
wad 'em up and toss 'em in a corner for weeks ,
and still look like you just bought the suckers !
You don't even have to throw 'em in the dyrer .
Some 'breathe' better than cotton ever could ,
and feel like cool silk against your bones .
Now that's progress !

NEVER pay a lot o' money for a cool-ass shirt .
Especially if you picked it out yourself .
There are so damn many of cheap-ass cool shirts
hanging on the clearance racks at discount stores .
I can't endorse any store names ; you know where .
If you're lookin' to stand apart from the crowd ,
go to some of your local Thrift Stores .
for some really awesome one-of-a-kind shirts .
It's o.k. , Shyboy , some real cool Guys shop there .
Drag along a Woman , preferably one with taste .
Vintage is way cool right about now , trust me .
Especially shirts of the seventies , in fact ,
I've devoted a whole website to them .
Here is where you can check it out .
And if you think you qualify to behold the sacred ,
just click here to see some of my favorite vintage
shirts from own personal collection , Lucky .

At risk of being racist , many White Guys do not
know that there are some indoor Malls full of
vendors (mostly Asian) that cater to our darker
Brothers and Sisters in almost every major city .
There are stalls upon stalls of the most amazing
styles of shirts , and pants , and sunglasses ,
and jewelry , and everything else to pimp up with .
There are items here you will never see in stores ;
crazy fashions only to be seen in music videos .
All to be had for prices even you can afford !
Go there , I guarantee you'll be back for more .
And if you're a Big Boy , you'll have no trouble
finding a shirt size XXXXXL , a cool one at that !
Which bring me to the next subject....

This should be a no-brainer :
The less body fat you harbour ,
the tighter the shirt you may wear !
If you are not an athlete , DO NOT wear a tight shirt .
Even one ounce of bounce is too way too much .
I do feel pain for my larger Brothers ;
it's hard to find decent shirts for Big Guys .
Some discount chains offer a "Big Man's" section ,
but you've seen the shit they offer Big Bubbas !
Friggin' Mumus with tiny-ass collars to make
some poor porker's head look even more enormous ,
in colors which might as well tell the World :
"Hey you over there , look at my big fat gut !" ,
and patterns that amplify every outline of saggy tit .
By the way , if you happen to be a large Dog ,
DON'T tuck your shirt in , Mr. Koolaid™ Pitcher-Guy .

To see some examples of classic styles
of Men's shirts I recommend , click on
one or all of the following icons ,
there may be one just for you .

if you want , you may click below
to check out