Puttin together the right shirt color with an
appropiate tie shouldn't be a hard task , but
for some reason most Guys just can't grasp it .
The common brew of a Navy Blue suit , White shirt ,
and Red tie is acceptable , but very late 20th Century .
Maybe you've heard , we're in a new Millenium .
Hey , and don't forget the rule about not wearing
a White shirt if your teeth are close to yellow .
White shirts safely go with any color tie and suit ,
but they're so overused , they seem more like a
uniform than a classy expression of masculinity .

Damn , it's so sad I have to mention this shit ,
but if you're over 6 years old , you should never
ever have cartoon charaters on your tie , duh !
Why bother dressing in a suit , if the cast of
Looney Toons™ are carvorting on your chest ?
In fact , you should just stay away from any images
plastered on a necktie . This means chili peppers ,
animals , golf items , fishing lures , crap like that .
You know what I'm talkin' about , you've seen 'em .
Frankly , it should be against the law to produce
such abberations . I can't get over the fact that
some Guys even consider to mar the masculinity of
a suit by sporting the monsters around their neck .
If you really must insist on a 'fun' look ,
try wearing a damn dress , Bozo .

Ties of one solid color in a shade or two darker
than your shirt is your best bet . Especially
with a silky sheen . Hey , we all have seen
"Who Wants to be a Millionaire" . Whoever dresses
Regis knows what he/she is doin' , mimic him .
Remember these are morden times , and less is more .

Officially , ties should be the same width
as your collar , but I don't think anyone is
going to hold a yardstick up to your big head .
As long as you stay away from extreme widths like
80s ties that are narrower than your finger , or
funky 70s ties that are wider than your Momma's ass ,
you should safely pass the well-dressed code .
Don't throw away your patterned ties yet , fashion
is fickle , and everything old becomes new again .

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