To see , or not to see ; is that some kind of question ?
If your vision is messed up , please choose glasses .
Wearing contacts is like a dyfunctional relationship , you become co-dependent . You depend on them to see ,
and they depend on your meticulous upkeep .
In short , they demand way too much maintainence .
Contacts do not allow you to be the Slob that you are ,
which is your God-given birth-right as a Man .
It's acceptable if you are vain enough to want to
change the color of your eyes , but if your eyes
are the darkest of brown , contacts of a lighter
color only looks like you are in need of eye surgery .
So stick with glasses , ok ?
Even if your sight is perfect , try fake glasses .
There is no crime in doing so , I do it .
The old adage of glasses making one look smarter
is still valid , as stupid as that sounds .
They also provide a barrier between you and the World ,
and help to hide your infamous eye-bags .

Sunglasses are the Gateway to Coolness .
But to many of you fuck that concept up royally .
Sunglass styles go in and out of fashion so rapidly ,
so you should never pay big bucks for them .
What does a $300 pair of Oaklys do for your looks ?
Fucking nothing , they look 15 years old .
I see too many Bubs wearing bad-ass threads ,
only to fuck their whole look up by wearing shades
that look like they came from the set of
"Back to the Future" , or "Blues Brothers" ,
which was about 20 years ago , do you get it ?
More sadly , even young Guys commit these crimes .
Here are some examples of what NOT to wear :

The only reason they still make these is because
dumb-asses like you still think they look cool .